Deer Conspiracy

I was driving home tonight from dinner at friends, and noticed some deer on the side of the road. More accurately, I noticed the reflections of deer eyes, and I presume that there were deer associated with those eyes. Three or four deer.

Couple hundred feet farther, another deer.  And another.

Then five or six. in the next stand.

And then, in a bend in the road where my headlights illuminated the woods, a symphony of deer eyes looking back at me.

I saw dozens of deer, or deer eyes, on a four mile drive.

Those of us of a certain generation remember the old Hitchcock movie 'The Birds", where you see one bird, then two, then more, all quietly perching, but observing.

I think the deer are up to something.

Two days ago, when I opened my door, there were five deer on the driveway, just looking at me. Looking at me the way one of the wiseguys in a mob movie looks at someone, with just a casual interest, wondering how they are going to wack you.  Not that they particularly care.

It is now 11pm and I just got back from walking my dog.  As I walked next to the woods, sounds of deer moving thru the woods reverberated.

They did not want me to hear their plans.

The deer.  They are planning something.

Who knows what they are planning?  A military takeover?  A terrorist act?  Are they communists?  We just dont know, and we need to.

We need INTEL.  Satellite photos and communications intercepts just wont cut it.

We need HUMINT. HUMan INTelligence. Agents that infiltrate the herds.

Make that DEERINT.

If you can dress up in a deer suit and fool other deers, Homeland Security would like to talk to you....

Comments

[Chris]

I think there is something about living alone in the woods that makes a man paranoid.

[Brand]

Ah, so I am guessing that the Deer have gotten to you, and are forcing you to take their side....Dont believe them. They may look all cute and Bambilike, but there is no room in their hearts for humans....